The Bowl CUt

I decided to go to John Carroll University today to study biomechanics  I arrived in the library about 8:45ish and began going through my notes.  I was getting through the information at my normal tortice pace when I looked at my watch and realized it was lunch time.  I decided to head to Dave's cosmic subs and then to the quad to enjoy the nice day.  On my way back to campus I noticed a lot of little kids running around.  It was at this point that I realized they were having a summer camp.  I don't mind kids, I actually really like them.  I used to work with children so sharing the quad with them was no big deal.  As I was enjoying my sub I had two little boys approach me and start asking me questions.  I immediately began to panic, looking feverishly for their mother when she came up to me and said, "are they bothering you".  I replied no and at that point I noticed these two little boys had bar none the creepiest bowl cuts I have ever seen.  I wanted to take a picture for the sake of this blog but I thought mom would get wierded out. So imagine it looking something like this.

Why do we do these things to our kids.  Seriously who came up with the idea of the bowl cut.  How did it evolve into the mainstream and why do we continue to pepetually recycle this hair style for our toddlers.  It's time someone stood up and took a stand against the bowl cut.  I mean who was the genius whom came up with this idea. 

I began talking with mom.  She seemed normal enough.  We talked for about 20 minutes, by this time I started feeling comfortable so I said to her "what's the deal with the bowl cuts?"  She busted out laughing, which I found rather odd, almost unsettling and then she replied that she just does not have the time or patience to take them to the hair salon so she cuts their hair at home. I have to admit that I find it's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternitiy.

We continued talking for awhile.  She told me all about the boys.  She told me that she was a stay at home mom and it really was a full time job.  I said that it sounded like a pretty cushy gig.  I quickly realized that was the wrong thing to say.  She immediately told me chasing two toddlers around all day is extermely taxing.  She said that trying to clean up after them is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.  I said how hard can it be.  She said that she felt like a guinea pig in an experiment to show that sleep was not necessary to human life.  As we talked she constantly had to yell at the boys to stop fighting, stop spitting at your brother, don't give your brother a wedgie, don't throw grass in your brother's eyes, don't pull your pants down.....etc.  I started to become exhausted just listening to her.  It was at that point I realized what the bowl cut was all about.  It all made sense now, the bowl cut, the odd, unsettling laughter when I asked her about it.  Yes! Yes! it all makes sense.  You see mother's have to endure a lot of pain and sacrifices along the way, the bowl cut may just be a temporary haircut given to a toddler but the pictures and stigma will live on forever allowing the mother to embarass her boys at every major event along they way thereby giving her perpetual revenge for all of the pain these two boys have enacted on her.

 Now I know who the real geniuses are that invented this bowl cut.  So I say to all of you mothers out there, well done, Bravo!