Woke up this morning and performed my daily ritual of eating rain bran, having awkward conversation with my neighbor followed by reading the newspapers on the Internet when I came across this gem of a headline on dailyindia.com, Germany against capital punishment for Bhullar. Germany, Seriously? Since when has Germany become a leader in diplomacy?
Germany should look towards it's big brother in the West. Of course I'm referring to the good ole USA where capital punishment thrives like a dose of the clap at a bikers rally. Hell in Texas they are executing so many prisoners that they are in the process of erecting a ticking sign like the one in times square on new years eve.
Why do we call it capital punishment? Well because it is a capital concept. It's reserved for the ones we deem the worst of the worst. Humans possessed of an evil so malignant, so virulent that their continued existence is an insult to the rest of us.
Let's be honest we all have an innate appetite for vengeance. We always have. No matter how many eons we place between ourselves and our cavemen ancestors, at the core we are just a bunch of primates with cell phones looking to crush those who threaten us with a fibula left behind at the mud pit. It's time to go back to our primal roots.
Our critics say that we take capital punishment too far in the U.S. that it is not a deterrent. Of course its not a deterrent, the police are a deterrent. Have you ever been to Singapore? You better not get caught spitting on the sidewalk while wearing a red shirt on a Tuesday.
China is to Capital Punishment what the Italians are to pasta. The Chinese will execute you for taking a hit in blackjack on 16.
The problems with executions in this country is that they don't have any pizazz. They just don't sparkle anymore. We should make it a spectacle, Let's go balls to the wall. We should get sponsors and make it a pay per view event giving all proceeds to the victims' families. We could of had, The Kellogg's Timothy McVeigh Execution hour, hosted by Katie Couric. Now that's must see TV.
Let's bring back some of Capital Punishment's pomp and mystery. Make the executioner wear a black hood. Hire an MC to get the crowd going and let the prisoner beg for his life where the crowd gets to vote by a thumbs up or thumbs down vote.
Hey I may be alone in my opinions, I know that I am just a single random ping pong ball in this great lottery hopper called life, but if history is any indicator, I believe the vast majority of people probably see it my way and I know the Germans in time will too.
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